Thursday, September 3, 2009

My Miracle

I was crying like a baby... sobbing non stop... tears running down my cold cheeks... head spinning like crazy as I struggled holding my breath and my mobile phone all at the same time. I was trying to make sense of all what was going on right under my nose, but to no effect.

It was one of those rare phone calls that I hate to participate in since I left home. I was talking to my friend and colleague from home trying to grasp the essence of our communication. Her voice was firm and full of conviction. Her tone was strong and filled with total resignation. Her breathing was deep yet consistent. She was cool, calm and collected.

"Be strong, Mare [a term we used to address each other because her first born is my Goddaughter]." She said in a matter-of-factly way.

If it is God’s will for me, then I have to accept it.” She sustained as I continued sobbing and said nothing but “Mare”

"This is just one of the mysteries of life and we have no choice but to accept it with faith in our hearts" She continued saying assuring me that… EVERYTHING WILL BE OKAY.

But I am not OK! Neither is she!

She is not OK! SHE HAS LUNG CANCER!

Yes, my dear Mare is dealing with the big C. And it was not OK with me. The news was so overwhelming because I miss my dear friend so much. She was one my few BFFs whom I consider as the sister I never had. We went through a lot of things. We shared a lot of life-changing experiences that made us better persons. We fought together as allies for what we believe in. And we cried together during those times when either one of us was in our lowest.

Yes, my dear Mare is facing the greatest challenge of her life. She is dealing with the toughest truth that shocks not only her family but friends and students alike. And she accepts the harsh reality with total resignation and faith in God.

I don’t know about other people but I do fail a lot of times in the “faith department”. I am the most impatient person I’ve ever known. And “doubt” should be my middle name. Yes, I do have faith but faith works better with patience.

I have gone through a lot of tough times too and sometimes I felt like giving up blaming others but myself for everything. With all the blessings that I have received I still feel that I am not blessed enough like other people. And I still believe that life is unfair just because I feel so frustrated with all my failures in life due to the wrong choices I made.

My Mare opened up my eyes to an entirely new way to look at life. Miracles happen all the time. Miracles happen when you least expected it. And Miracles happen to those who believe. We do not know if she will have her share of miracle. But there is one thing I am very sure of… she is my miracle for she brings back my faith in life.

9 comments:

crizet said...

OMG!!! I never thought my tears were flowing..I was crying while reading this.. All we can do is pray. =(

Ruthi said...

I know Crizet... I was really crying when I was talking to her. I know she is a strong woman. But I've never realized how strong she was until that phone call.

Vincent Bautista said...

I'm so sorry to hear that... I really was amazed that she was able to keep her composure while sharing that devastating news... Kakatakot talaga yang cancer, you never know when meron ka nah unless it's too late.

Anyway, thanks sa pagdalaw sa blog kong walang update. Thanks!

Ruthi said...

Hi Vince, thanks for dropping by too. I really appreciate it. It's been awhile and I know how busy you are too.

Yes, the big C is ruthless. But my friend believes in miracle too so I guess she is so blessed. God has his reasons.

betchai said...

hi Ruthi, am sorry to hear about your friend, hope things and her health get better each day. thanks for sharing your and her faith.

how's work lately? hope all is well.

Ruthi said...

@Betchai... Thanks for dropping by my friend. I appreciate it. I know how busy you are. I talked to my friend last week and I think everything will be alright. Prayers can move mountain. We just need to keep the faith.

john dave millet said...

Ma'am Ruth,I have the same feeling right now,I don't know why,but I am deeply affected by this sad news of Ma'am Vines pass-away.Just like others,who've already read this,I can't control my emotions too while reading your outpouring of emotions.

john dave millet said...

Just let the sadness linger for awhile,coz time will come when you will only remember your happy moments together.Soon,gladness of heart will overcome your sadness!

Ruthi said...

@John Dave... I know, Mrs. Vines a a great person and everyone who heard the news are moved. Keep the faith. That's what she wants.

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