Saturday, November 22, 2008

My Father was Never Around

It’s my father’s birthday today. If he was alive, he is already 75 years old. If he was still around, he would have been asking me practically everyday [online] if I am having a baby yet. If he was still alive, he would have been waiting for me all day to go online so I could talk to him. If he was still alive, he would have been looking at my photo albums all the time whether from our countless collections or in my Friendster account. If he was still alive, I wouldn’t have to miss him this much.

I have some vivid recollections of my father as I and my two brothers were growing up. Though my memories of him are not that much because he was away most of our growing up years but still we cherish those memories. He left the country when I was in 4th Grade and worked in a ship as a Seaman for 20 long years. I was already working when he finally retired and put up a printing business. It was his dream-come-true kind of business.

My father was not around when I was growing up. He missed a lot of those special and significant events in my life. He was not there when I graduated from Elementary. He was not there when I graduated from High School. He was not there when I graduated from College. And he is already gone when I graduated from Graduate School and received my Master’s Degree. He was never around because he worked so hard to send us to school.

I hardly know my father though I know that he loved music. He loved to sing to me and my two brothers when we were kids. He loved to play the harmonica and we were his only audience. But I don’t know if he knew how to dance. I have never seen him dance. I never had the chance to dance with him and had a "Father and Daughter Dance" number. He was not around when I turned 18th. And he is already gone when I got married. He was never around because he worked hard to give us a good life.

It’s my father’s birthday today and I had no recollection how he celebrated his birthdays when he was still around. He usually celebrated his birthday on the ship. And he had never attended any of his kids’ birthdays too. When he was home for a short vacation, it was always a time where there was nothing to celebrate at all. There were only about a couple of Christmases that we celebrated with him. And we celebrated their Silver Wedding Anniversary a month late because it was the only time that he got his vacation. He was never around to enjoy life because we was busy working to give as a happy life.

My father may not be around now but I do know that he is very much around in spirit. He is very much around when I feel sad. He is very much around when I am afraid. He is very much around when I am homesick. He is very much around when I am happy. My father was not always around when he was still alive but he was always there when we needed him.

Happy Birthday Dad... Thank you for not being around. I love you much and I miss you.

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