Thursday, March 27, 2008

transition

Transition is something inevitable. A series of it prepares one for the worse to come. It makes one a better person… or otherwise. I had my fair share many times in the past. And for the last forty years nothing hit me hard like a baseball bat than the one I had in 1994. I was at the peak of my career. The challenges were too tempting to think of anything but to be more competitive. Boy, I was too damn focused to achieve. There was no way to go but… up! And so I thought.

But transition is something inevitable. Nobody actually talked me into it. When things had gotten so monotonous, a career change was the most sensible decision I had to make. I felt that the corporate world was getting too complicated… or maybe it was my life, which was getting too complicated. I really didn’t know and it didn’t actually matter anyhow. I was so engrossed to leave the corporate world (or was it the corporate jungle?) The workplace was no longer a good place for me to stay insane. And so I left.

And transition is indeed inevitable. I was back in school building dreams anew and honing skills afresh. A paradigm shift was a scapegoat after all. Finally, I knew what I wanted in my life. My imagination has no limit. My idealism was too strong to stop me from doing what I wanted to do. And my spirit was too resilient that I had new hopes… new visions… new understanding of what life has yet to offer me. I felt that I got myself new wings to fly. And so I flew.

But transition is indeed inevitable. Being in this new profession, which I thought was the most rational move I made when I left the corporate jungle, was after all a scapegoat. After ten years I find myself again in a position not so new to me. Reality stares me eye to eye… and before I knew it my imagination ran weak… my idealism grew even weaker… and my spirit stirred frailly as I face each day with resignation. I know it is not a good sign, though. But what can I do? I really don’t know. But one thing is sure… I will make a move, one way or another. Life has to go on.

Life is a transition… and it is inevitable. It will surely pass… one way or another. And life goes on.

Note: This was written Sept. 19, 2005

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