Thursday, March 27, 2008

Life begins at 40

(NOTE: I wrote this when I turned 40 in March of 2005. But I published this on September 25 of the same year.)

I turned 40 this year. So what? At the back of my mind… all I can say is – no big deal! But is it? Or am I just trying to convince myself, it really is no big deal because I don’t have any choice?

Age is irreversible! Looking back now only triggers more allergy rashes or worse – psychosomatic attacks common to people either suffering from mid-life crisis or plain paranoia.

The countless nights I spent trying to figure out what I have done in the past 40 years made me dependent on VMV Illuminant Eye Cream to reverse the sign of aging. And at this point, it’s a consolation to know that at least there is still something irreversible.

Age is accountable! Now that I entered the “no return” realm, there is no other way to go but to move on. The many failures I had in the past gave me the strength to face new challenges. And the successes, on the other hand, gave me the inspiration to seek new life-giving experiences. But does it help? Or am I just trying to be positive because that’s the only sensible way to deal with it?

Those sleepless nights I spent trying to put my life in a new perspective did not help me to come up with new ideas but rather worsen my hemoglobin deficiency denying me three times as blood donor for Red Cross… a noble cause I tried to acquire to make myself useful in the society I am a part of.

Age too is inevitable! Immortality is only for the goddesses. Obviously, I can’t vie for it. Being a mortal is a liability to a certain extent. But to leave behind a legacy is something attainable to common people. This thought made me contemplate. Have I done something worth remembering me by? Or do I still have enough time to make a significance in other people’s lives or at least in some major decisions I still yet to make?

As an educator, I believe I have touched the lives of my students in one way or another. But I cannot deny the fact that being so, I can be accused too of making or breaking my students in principle or other wise. The many lessons I’ve learned in life partly came from my past experiences and partially from my former teachers. And so I ask myself after 9 years in this profession… have I made a difference in my students’ lives? With unshakable faith I can proudly say… absolutely! My confidence was probably fuelled by some former students who came back to thank me for being an inspiration to them.

I turned 40 this year. The next 40 years that have yet to come are still unpredictable. There are many questions yet to be answered and many more that are better left unanswered. But age is an opportunity for me lead life to the fullest… to achieve a certain degree of respect for life… and to cultivate a personal grasp of life expectations. Age is irreversible, age is accountable and age is inevitable. But life is a gift. What I make out of it… is my gift to the One who gave me life.

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