Thursday, February 28, 2008

the frustrated writer... is a splogger

I am a splogger!

That's what a lady called me in another website where I recently signed up for. Despite the fact that I really don't have any clue what it means, I was hurt. I was humiliated. And I was disappointed.

It's not a major thing, actually. But the thing is... I am a writer. Or at least I believe so. And that's where the problem begins. This is not just a simple "thing." It's a big one... huge. Because for me, you are talking about life here.

Writing is my passion. It is my first love. And I would have been married to it if I had not met the love of my life. But even if I got married, I still continue a secret relationship with "it" because I just couldn't put an end to our romance. You know the saying... "first love never dies." ... that's how it is with me and my writing.

Every writer believes that he is good at his craft. Every writer takes pride of his writings. Every writer loves to know that his write-ups have an audience. And every writer needs to feel good about his writings.

When I was called a "splogger" by a lady who happens to be the one who is the top earner in that website, I was disappointed. She wrote... "You are a splogger and a splogger is not welcome here." I felt I was convicted of a crime and sentenced to death. For what crime? For publishing my collection of write-ups (all 7 of them in 1 day). By the way she puts it, I assumed that "a splogger" is somebody who is greedy enough to post all his write-ups depriving other authors to have their articles published. Or maybe, I am also guessing... since an author gets points for publishing his write-up and gets paid for the quantity and quality of his post... I speculate that "splogger" means someone who might be a threat to her current position. I don't know. I said I was just guessing.

Okay, okay, I was guilty. I was carried away. And I over did it. When I posted a couple of write-ups the moment I signed up and received some comments for it, I was elated. So what do you think it felt like? I was so excited and posted more from my collection. But maybe there are rules and regulations about it. Maybe it was my fault that I didn't know about that rules. And maybe I was plain naive. But I can't use this as an alibi. A writer doesn't take alibi for his action... he takes responsibility. So I deleted all the entries I posted the day I read that comment (excepts those entries, that already have some comments on it out of respect for those people who took time and effort to read my write-ups).

Actually, there are two people who reacted on my "splogging". The first one has nice words for me and gave me constructive criticism. She gave me some tips how to be more effective in the website and assured me that she just wanted me to start on the right foot and even encouraged me to write more but give considerations to other members. And the second one... she literally told me that - I am not welcome in the website.

Words are important for writers. These are their tools to make their ideas tangible. And words are powerful. So powerful that it can make or break a person. The comments I received were just words but they were so powerful. But they also say - it is not what you say, but how you say it. Two different comments but both affected me so much that I suddenly felt its blow that impacted me so bad. So bad that I came up to the realization that I am just a "frustrated writer."

I stopped writing after that. I stopped writing to give myself a time to lick my wounds. And I just stopped. Then I realized, I just can't stopped... writing. So here I am again. Writing and licking my wounds at the same time. Because someone told me too... "if you are a writer, you got to have thick skin." So here I am... growing some skin.

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